As time goes on, and I as I get better at what I do, it is becoming more apparent that the sooner we all realize we can not have it all, the better we all will be, including me.

My reference to them is the inhabitants and the practitioners in the multi Billion dollar self help, self-improvement industry. Make no mistake, it is an industry. Books, tapes, seminars, retreats, courses, all aimed at helping us find the way to fame, fortune, the easy life, happiness, you name, you can find someone who will give it to you, on a silver platter. You may find that my opinion of the industry that I also inhabit is not a very high one, you are right. Let me expound if you will,

• I absolutely abhor the gurus that write a book that basically says, if you believe strongly enough, it will magically happen. Sorry, not in my world and not in your world either. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and I‘m sure I have my detractors as well.
• The people who say that getting control of your time, increasing your productivity, being successful, being happy will happen with no work on your part. Yes all of these wonderful things will happen to YOU and the best part is, you do not have to anything that remotely looks like or feels like work. Not only will you not have to work, you will not have to change any of your bad habits, make any sacrifices of any kind and will certainly not have to do anything you do not want to do. This instant life changing conformation without an ounce of work or change on your part is what gives people like me a bad name. As the reporter on 20/20 says,” Give me a break “. Some people, it seems a lot of people buy into this patter. I hope you do not turn out to be one of them.
• The one-step approach. The golden bullet approach, by changing just one aspect of your life, everything in you life will be better, much better. There is no golden or silver bullet; you cannot improve your life by making a single change that will dramatically improve everything else.
• The software approach. Buy such and such program; plug it in and all of your worries are over. I wasn't aware that they had invented a computer that could think for us. What we all have to remember is this; regardless of what program you buy, what software you use, there are worthless unless the data you put into them is the right content. What I always say, get good, then get wired.

There is no easy fix, no magically secret, no one-step solution to getting our ducks in a row and getting the most out of our lives. I wish there was. What we are left with is the reality, as I see it, is working our way through life and trying to find a path that will get us to where we want to go and along the way, let us get as many of the things we want to get done, done.

This leads me to the main thrust of this article; the premise that if we want, we can have our cake and eat it too. The belief that regardless of how high we pile our plate with things we want to do, that yes, we can get them all done. All we have to do is plan carefully, use our time wisely and we can get everything done. 35 years and counting, and the longer I'm in this game, the more untrue this train of thought is.

Not only is it flawed, critically flawed; it is also the main cause of most people's unhappiness and dissatisfaction with their life. I'm not sure what is worse, reaching for the brass ring and not getting it, or reaching for the brass ring and never having a chance to get it because the ring was never obtainable in the first place.

What I pride myself in is this, giving people who really want to improve themselves and have a realistic set of goals, the tools and the means to achieve them. The key is establishing realistic obtainable goals and then setting out in an organized fashion, with the right tools to get the job done. Sounds easy, doesn't it!

As I mentioned, one of the greatest causes of stress, anxiety and dissatisfaction in most people lives is the sense of failure they have when they do not achieve what they want in life. The irony in this is that it's not their personal failure, it's not because they were inadequate or lacked the ability to accomplish their goals, it was the goals themselves. If we were to add up all the goals any of us have, it would take 3 or 4 people all working together to make them all happen.

What is the point in beating yourself up about something that was impossible to obtain in the first place? I'm the worst offender when it comes to trying to achieve the impossible dream, times a factor of at least three fold. I'm getting better at it, but it is a constant struggle to rein in my wish list to a place where I have a fighting chance to get it accomplished.

I'm not proposing that you stop reaching and expanding what you want out of life nor should you expect second place when you could have had first place. What I'm saying is that we all need to keep in focus what we want to do with available time, resources, and our ever-changing landscape around us.